


Blinded by Loyalty

by Varmint



Series: Unwavering Loyalty [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Akatsuki!Kiba, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Disturbing Themes, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Friendship, Gen, Lies, M/M, Manipulation, POV Multiple, Spies, mentions of rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-08-21 02:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16567622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varmint/pseuds/Varmint
Summary: The Akatsuki's plans are in full swing- and Kiba is a key player in reaching their goals. He is not the same as he was before that horrible mission that changed everything. And he is prepared to do whatever it takes, even if it means burning some bridges along the way, to ensure peace and safety for those he cares about.Sequel to Bound to the Enemy!





	1. Unexpected Complications

"You've kept up with your prayers?"

"Yeah." Kiba smiled softly at the immediate question, "I hope Lord Jashin has heard my every word."

The silver haired man smirked as he raised his hand to ruffle Kiba's much too long hair, "You need a haircut. You're starting to look like a girl."

If the man had said something like this a year ago, Kiba would have winced. If he had dared to touch him like this before, the teen would have flinched away and retracted within his shell once again. But a lot had changed over the years he had been in Konoha working as a double agent. He didn't allow himself to show such weaknesses anymore. He couldn't afford to show such vulnerabilities any longer.

"Says you." The Inuzuka rolled his eyes as the man's fingers snagged on the hairclip he wore on the left side of his head, but soon slapped the hand away and crossed his arms over his chest. "We've got a job to do. Where's Kakuzu?"

"Who gives a fuck?" Hidan grunted as he moved a few steps away from Kiba, giving him back his personal space. "Dead for all I care."

The gruff and borderline rude answer had Kiba internally amused. He didn't show it, more than aware that Hidan would get even more pissy if his obvious yet somehow hidden care for the older man was thrown in his face. It was clear to Kiba that Hidan was in denial about how much he cared for Kakuzu. And he wasn't about to get on the Jashinist's bad side just because he was being an idiot about it.

"Not even in your dreams, Hidan."

Kakuzu all but materialized from the darkness that enshrouded the forest in a growl that was very clearly annoyed.

For Kiba, getting accustomed once more to having Hidan and Kakuzu around had not been easy. After he had relived everything that had happened to him, it had been almost impossible to even look at his friends, much less the men that had been with him through that whole journey. But he had managed to grow past his discomfort and terror and was only affected a tiny bit by the terrifying men and woman that worked in the Akatsuki.

"Here's your uniform, kid." The man didn't even look at the teenager as he threw the cloak over in his direction, concentrated on the point he knew the group they were hunting down had been heading towards.

Kiba looked down at the dark material he now clutched in his hands for a moment before shrugging it on. It would never cease to amaze him how he had become a part of one of the strongest factions of missing-nin to ever have existed. It was just his luck that they were working for the betterment of the world, rather than to destroy or subjugate it. It was almost impossible to believe, but he deserved at least that small snatch of good luck after such a shitty chain of unfortunate events.

He zipped the cloak up until just below his collarbone, allowing for his neck and face to be seen clearly. Once that was done, Hidan threw the hitai-ite that had a slash running straight through Konoha's symbol at him. Kiba caught it without looking at it and brought it down to just in front of his chest. Instead of putting it on, the teen looked down at it in contemplation.

The members of the organization wore their own headbands as signs of them having forsaken the villages that betrayed them. They had all left their old homes for a reason known only to them in search of better pastures. Even with how violent and unstable they could be, every single member of the Akatsuki had a reason for being there... Just what was he doing being a part of them?

But just as Kiba's thoughts were to take a darker turn, Hidan cleared his throat and grabbed the boy's attention. This caused the teen to look up at him, take note of the somewhat exasperated frown, and smile apologetically. Then the Inuzuka tied the headband around his neck in a similar fashion to Hidan.

It wasn't right to wear it on his forehead, front and center for all the world to see. But he couldn't hide it completely, seeing how it was a part of the Akatsuki's uniform. So he found an unsteady neutral-ground in his neck, leaving it obscured enough to not be completely bothered by it but also leaving it visible enough for the organization to not question his true intentions.

At one point, the leader had asked him if he truly wanted to make the world a better place and save his friends from their almost unavoidable fates.

This worrisome line of questioning had come when the Inuzuka had once reported that there wasn't any kind of news around Konoha- there had been small whispers of Naruto and Jiraiya's whereabouts, but nothing substantial enough to warrant mentioning to the man or the organization. It was in this meeting that Kiba had finally noticed that, like it or not, he was a true member of the organization and was treated as such. His loyalty to them was supposed to be unshakeable but any wrong move would cause him to be scrutinized. Any kind of questionable acts from  _any_  of the members would cause them to be scrutinized. And he no longer had the luxury of being a  _child_  to excuse his novice mistakes. He had been with them for years now-  _he_ _knew better._

After this terrifying meeting, Kiba did his best to make sure that all members of the organization knew how much he wanted to help in making the world a better place. there had never been any person Kiba had ever met in his life that scared him as much as the leader of the Akatsuki and having him question his loyalty had left the boy shaken even though no actions had been taken against him.

Kiba wanted to avoid ever coming across another situation like that ever again. And one of the simplest ways to do that was to wear the uniform they gave him.

"Get to work, kid. You know who we're after."

A frown pulled at the corner of the Inuzuka's lips at being reminded just  _who_  it was that he was supposed to track down, but the teen quickly got to work and turned his nose up to try and catch her scent.

Having seen the girl again during the Chunin Exams had been a welcome sight. They had not been able to speak or even cross paths, but just seeing her had been enough to assure Kiba that she was still safe and still as hyperactive and friendly as ever.

After a few seconds, Kiba caught a whiff of the person he wanted to help most in the world, aside from Naruto and Gaara. Once he was sure of where it was going and that it was accompanied by both of the boys that had been with her during the Exams, the Inuzuka turned to look back at both Kakuzu and Hidan. Then he nodded and jumped up onto a tree branch.

"Follow me."

With this he took off running without waiting for either of the man, more than sure that they knew to not question him and just follow. After a few missions in which they all worked to track down a bounty, both older males knew better than to doubt him.

Following after his old friend wasn't difficult. Her team wasn't trying to cover up their tracks- they most probably thought that they were safe from any kind of danger. And, really, they didn't have to worry at all. The Akatsuki were not after her to harm her. On the contrary, they were hoping to be able to help her.

"Remember to zip up your collar, kid." Kakuzu grunted after a few minutes of pursuit, making the Inuzuka turn his head just slightly to look at him with a quirked eyebrow. "Clan tattoos." Was his only grunted answer.

Kakuzu was the one that always reminded Kiba of having the dangerous clan markings on his face whenever on missions. And for good reason, too. If a member of the Inuzuka Clan was seen working along with the Akatsuki, it would not be too hard to deduce who it might be. And while, until now, all of their missions had been completed without any witnesses being able to tell any tales, there was always the small possibility that something went wrong and someone was left alive. Which would spell big trouble for the youngest member of the organization if word got back to Konoha.

With a nod towards the man, Kiba moved his hands to pull up the rest of his collar. And once it was closed, he couldn't help but feel somewhat awkward with the garment bumping against his nose as he ran. He could still follow his target's scent with relative ease, but it was annoying to be running around with something knocking against his face with every step.

The darkened sky they were using for cover was heavily obscured by the trees they were running on. And the forest's sounds were loud enough to cover up their silent footsteps, making their mission that much easier. If the group they were hunting down couldn't see or hear them coming, they wouldn't take any defensive measure to stop them before they understood what they were there to offer.

If not for his pounding heart, Kiba could have lost himself in the scenery.

He knew that they had a time limit for this mission. A very small window of opportunity for everything to be successful. So they had to be fast unless they wanted for his team to wake up and find out that the Kiba they were sleeping around wasn't the real human.

"We're close." The Inuzuka informed his teammates once their target's scent became even more tangible, growing heavier with proximity. "We have to be quick about this."

"We're aware, kid. Don't want you getting into any trouble with your village, right?" Hidan taunted with mirth clear in his voice, which made Kiba merely roll his eyes.

For some reason, the Jashinist found it hilarious how Kiba had to keep up a double life. But he at least knew when to back off, the teen had to concede.

When they were close enough to their target that Kiba was able to see the faintest traces of a fire, he began to slow down. Soon enough he came to a full stop, far enough to not see the fire clearly, but close enough that they were able to see the faded glow of it.

Hidan and Kakuzu stopped on the branches beside him, looking over in the direction he pointed at.

"And that's where we'll find our girl."

"Alright!" Hidan smirked, moving to brandish his scythe. "Let's get to kicking some ass!"

But a tendril shot out of Kakuzu's sleeve and wrapped around the man's wrist, stopping him in his tracks. "We're going to try the diplomatic way first. Kid."

Kiba breathed in deeply before letting it out, then looked over at Kakuzu. "You sure about this?"

The green eyed man nodded, "There's no need to fight if she believes her old friend… You just have to make sure she  _listens_."

Upon being reminded of his past with the girl, Kiba couldn't help but wince. It still hurt to have lied to her all those years ago. Just like it would hurt to keep the lie up now that he would try and convince her to listen to them.

But it was for her own good. That's all Kiba needed to remember. She was in danger of being destroyed from the inside out and dumped by her careless and  _cruel_ village. And there was no way in hell that he would allow her to face such an unfair fate if he was able to help her in any way.

"Got it." Kiba nodded, then told them, "Stay behind me and stay quiet...  _Hidan_."

"You getting lippy, sidekick?" The Jashinist snarled, only to have Kiba smirk at him.

"Only a little."

Banter with Hidan was nice. It was comfortable. It was  _normal_... Well... As normal as Kiba's life could get.

After giving both men one final nod, Kiba jumped off of his tree branch and proceeded to walk towards Fū and her team on the ground. A few seconds after he had began to walk he heard Kakuzu and Hidan land, then the soft footfalls of two people walking.

The forest was alight with the melody of nature, a beautiful and comforting sound that helped calm Kiba down a bit.

He could do this. He knew he could. He could talk to Fū and get her to go along with the Akatsuki.

There wasn't much to it; all he had to do was be the good friend he had once been and offer the help he knew was needed if he wanted to keep her alive.

When he entered the clearing that was being used by Fū's team as their stop for the night, he was greeted by three genin with kunai in their hands. Both males that were accompanying the mint green haired girl were glaring threateningly, as if trying to tell those that had dared walked up to their campsite to get away, all the while Fū looked as if she was struggling to glare.

The struggle, though, ended as soon as her eyes registered the half of Kiba's face that was visible. From partly narrowed they widened immensely. And then her lips followed, forming a large smile that only seemed  _right_  on her face.

"Koji!"

In the span of only a few seconds, Kiba found himself trapped in a tight hug from the shorter girl. And for a few seconds, he allowed himself to hug her back and just rejoice in the feeling of being close to her again and being able to see with his own eyes that she was fine. Rejoice in the feeling that she  _would be fine_  once they were able to extract the monster that was slowly killing her from the inside.

"I had a promise to keep." He commented with a happy chuckle, feeling Fū's hand groping at the hair clip he wore on the left side of his face to keep his hair from bothering him too much.

After a few months had passed since he had returned to Konoha, he had still worn it. Shikamaru did not like the idea of him wearing such a thing and had told him so a few times over the years;  _"It's a constant reminder of what you survived. Why would you bother wearing it?"_. But Kiba wore it to remember those he had sworn to protect. Just like he kept the necklace he had bought all that time ago wrapped around his neck, no matter what. They were both reminders of the best things that were to come and helped keep him sane. There was no reason to  _not_  wear them.

"I can't believe it's actually you!" The dark skinned girl gasped, looking up at him with wide eyes. "I thought I'd never see you again! And then you stopped writing..." Looking down at the floor, Fū's smile turned into a small pout, "Why'd you stop writing?"

"Life became much too difficult." The teen answered honestly and abruptly, effectively finishing up with  _that_  specific subject, "But let's not talk about that now. I've got something important to tell you."

"Fū? Who are these guys?"

Upon hearing her teammate talking to her, Fū unwrapped her arms from around Kiba and blinked back at the boy... No... Now that Kiba got a good look at him, this wasn't a kid his age. It was a  _man_. And now that he got a good, solid whiff of his scent, he could tell that the blood levels in it were much higher than one would find in someone that was just a chūnin.  _Tokubetsu Jōnin_  was what the blood in his smell made the Inuzuka think of. Too bloody for chūnin, but not bloody enough for Jōnin.

He had spiky hair and dark eyes that were narrowed in distrust. And his body was tensed, ready to attack the moment Kiba moved in a manner he deemed dangerous.

"What do you mean? There's only Koji."

It was then that both Kakuzu and Hidan decided to move into the clearing, standing a few feet away from Kiba and Fū. Even though Kiba didn't see them, he knew how they were standing after months of working with them. Hidan would be smirking at those that might give him an excuse to give Lord Jashin offerings all the while Kakuzu would just be standing there, giving off an aura of danger. Neither men were tactful enough to deal with mediation unless they really  _needed_ to and had been instructed this by the Leader himself.

"Oh..." Fū's eyes widened when she saw both men that wore cloaks that matched Kiba's own, then asked, "Koji... Who are these guys?"

"Fū, these are my friends, Kakuzu and Hidan." He motioned to them both without turning to look back, aware of where each man stood from their scents. "We're here to help you."

"Help... Me?" The girl repeated in confusion, but soon looked over both men to size them up.

A few seconds later, her eyes were growing wide once more, "You're Kakuzu! You're really famous!"

After finding out that Kakuzu had been a villager of Takigakure, Kiba had wondered why it was that he had left. Even though the shinobi seemed to have had sticks up their asses, they had been mostly nice. And for a man as serious as him, Kiba really didn't see what might have happened to have made him forsake his home country. But, considering all of the secrets that even  _Konoha_  kept, there was no telling what might have happened.

Whatever had shaken  _Kakuzu_  enough to make him  _betray_  his Village, though... It must have been bad. Kakuzu  _didn't_  give up.

"Fū. Be careful. You  _know_  why that man is dangerous." Fū's other teammate warned, taking one step forward to try and... Stop her, maybe. He didn't move close enough to be able to grab her, though.

 _Predictable_ , Kiba remarked in his mind. Of course they would be worried about her, but not worried enough to put  _themselves_  in danger.

Neither of these two were genin. The blood that coated both of their scents spoke of a shinobi career much too bloody to be genin. And this led Kiba to wonder just why they had been Fū's team for the  _Chūnin Exams_.

"Yeah, but... You gotta admit, the Village was pretty messed up back then." Fū smiled back at the brown haired  _man_ , then looked back over at Kakuzu. "Wanna be friends?"

Kiba was left stunned by Fū's words. Even though she knew she was overly friendly, he would have thought that she'd at least have a even the tiniest hint of a self-preservation instinct and be wary of a man as dangerous as Kakuzu.

Apparently, this was going to be easier than he would have expected.

"I'm not the kind you want to be friends with, kid."

"Doesn't matter. I want to make  _all_  the friends I can!" Fū smiled broadly at Kakuzu, then looked back at Kiba. "What is it you're here to tell me, Koji? Are you going back to the Village with me? And... What's up with having half your face covered? It's not like it doesn't look good- it's mysterious and cool- but it's kind of weird."

She had always been the kind to jump from one topic to another...

With a soft smile hidden behind the collar of the Akatsuki's cloak, Kiba answered, "Fū, you're in danger. Kakuzu, Hidan, and I are here so we can help you."

"Danger?" The girl parroted, head cocked to the side as she looked back at her friend. "What are you talking about, Koji?"

"Yeah. Danger." Kiba nodded, then moved to placed his hands on her shoulders.

In that very moment, everything went to hell.

Fū leaned in to be touched by her old friend, more than eager to be able to speak with the person she had missed the most over the years.

Both of her teammates, apparently distrustful of the two that were with the traitor Kakuzu, lunged to try and intercept him.

This course of action prompted Hidan and Kakuzu to move, seeking to stop them from hurting the Inuzuka.

And a new scent Kiba had not noticed before suddenly made itself known, but the boy was not able to try and figure out if he knew the person it belonged to or not before his nose was burning and he was screaming in pure agony.

The smell that entered his nose was  _torturous_. It burned from his nostrils all the way to his very lungs, filling them with  _fire_. Tears sprung up in his eyes as his knees buckled and he fell to the ground, struggling to breathe through the excruciating inferno.

It was as if fire and brimstones had been forced down his nose at the same time. There was no smell- there was just a burning inferno that refused to lower in intensity.

"Koji!?"

Wheezing gasps were all he managed to make as his lungs heaved to work through the flames that had engulfed his chest.

"What's wrong!? Hey, what's going on?! Who are-"

He'd been so preoccupied with struggling to breathe that Kiba had not been able to keep track of Fū. One minute she had been standing in front of him, her legs nothing more than a blurred blot through his teary eyes. But suddenly they were gone and there was no one where she had stood. There was only the fuzzy sight of the ground- nothing and no one else.

He wanted to scream out and call for Fū. He wanted to reach out and find her. But the words weren't able to form in his mouth and no breath was able to leave him. He couldn't say a single thing as tears streamed down his face. He could barely even  _move_.

What in the hell had just entered his nose? Was he going to die? He could barely breathe. His gasps were becoming even quicker, much more desperate. He felt his throat tightening, barely allowing him to get any oxygen into his system.

Around him, he could faintly make out what sounded like more than two people struggling. But he couldn't focus on them. He was much too terrified of dying from an unseen force to try and make sense of what was happening around him.

Was this really how he was going to die? Strangled by an invisible fire that scorched its way through his lungs?

He hadn't put much thought into his death since he had joined the Akatsuki. Not after he had been forced into a despicable situation in which he had done horrible things… For some reason, his mortality had not been at the forefront of his mind for quite some time. But this...  _This_  certainly wasn't a way he wanted to go.

Tears streamed freely down his face. His throat refused to work- refused to suck in a single breath. The band around his neck was not helping and only got caught as  _something_  tugged on it.

He didn't even register how his nails were clawing viciously at his neck, drawing blood and leaving destruction in their wake in their desperation. He was so focused on his breath and lack of breathing that he had no true register of the rest of his body.

He didn't want to die... Not like  _this_... Not struggling to breathe from a cowardly attack...

A harsh slap to his mid-back had him taking a giant deep breath, even through all of the burning that consumed and  _burned_  him.

"Breathe, you dumbass! You have to  _fucking breathe_!"

Suddenly large, pale hands were grabbing onto his own. In the blink of an eye, Hidan's face was in front of him, eyes wide as they scrutinized Kiba, terror and fear shining clearly within them... When had he closed his eyes?

But even with the breath of air that he had managed to make, the pain was still there... He was still wheezing and he was still freaking out. Fuck, what if this was it? The final breath before he kicked the-

"Hit him again, Kakuzu!"

Once more, there was a heavy handed slap to his back. This time, though, it was much harsher. And this time it did what it needed to do. With an even deeper breath, Kiba felt the fire begin to cool down, even though it continued to burn him. Luckily, though, instead of the roaring inferno it had been, it was now a steadily cooling flame.

"What..." Kiba struggled through his breaths, then looked up through watery eyes to find the world around him blurred. "The  _hell_... Was that?"

Hidan's eyes were now narrowed, anger clear inside of them. And when Kiba turned to look behind him, over at Kakuzu, he found that his oddly colored eyes were narrowed with silent rage festering within them.

"We were ambushed." The large man growled as he straightened up, then looked around their surroundings. "Someone knew you were here with us. They threw smoke bombs with something that really affected you."

"Almost  _killed_ him, Kakuzu." Hidan's voice was growled and pissed off, but there was a tiny tremor that he couldn't hide, one that let Kiba know how truly worried he had been. "Bastards knew you were with us. So they incapacitated you so they could get away with our target."

It took a second, but Hidan eventually released Kiba's hands, allowing the teenager to see the state they had been left in after he had almost died. His stomach churned at the sight of blood.

"W-what?" Kiba gasped, then struggled to stop himself from rubbing at his eyes to clear them of his tears.

It still hurt to breathe. His eyes and throat stung with every breath he took. But this bit of information was a bit too terrifying to ignore. "N-no one's supposed to know."

"We  _know_." Both men hissed at the same time, managing to make him wince.

They were  _pissed_.

"Fū's gone. Just like her teammates." Kakuzu's voice was as harsh as gravel, low and angered. "Who the  _hell_  managed to ambush  _us_?"

~..~..~

I have finally delivered the first chapter!

I am going to try a monthly-update schedule for this story to not leave it completely abandoned midway. Luckily, I've got myself consultants for this story, so this one will (hopefully) be easier to write for.

Really hope you liked this! Please remember to review and tell me what you thought (your reviews help fuel my creativity)!


	2. Chapter 2

When Kiba returned to the campsite the rest of the Konoha candidates had set up, the sun was busy struggling to rise. From what he could hear around him, he could assume that no one was awake at the moment. There were no rustles of movement or even whispers of conversations. All he did hear were the soft hums of sleeping bodies and small animals walking around. None of his fellow shinobi were awake.

Unfortunately, he was still unable to breathe correctly- the stinging of clawed skin along his neck barely an afterthought. His sinuses felt as if lined with dry sand and his chest panged with a sharp pain with every breath he took. Thankfully enough, his throat was now reduced to smoldering, barely a lick of fire reaching up from the depths of his lungs every now and then. When compared to the sensation of hot coals utilized as throat lozenge, Kiba considered this an improvement.

Tugging self consciously at the bandages lining his throat, Kiba made his way towards the campsite. Kakuzu had wrapped them over them and told him that while most were superficial, there were a few that had gone too deep and the bandages were not to come off under any circumstances. While the masked man had done this, Hidan had spewed profanities and promises of vengeance to the bastards that had managed to catch them by surprise.

Kiba had sat motionless as both men vented in their own ways, much too terrified of the implications he was facing to even try and listen to them.

The person or people that had ambushed them had known that he was there. Someone knew he was part of the Akatsuki. And if someone knew, it was only a matter of time before the Hokage herself found out... He could _not_ have the Hokage finding out. All of his hard work with the Akatsuki, all of the sacrifices he had made to ensure the success of their plans… _Reliving the worst moments of his life_... It would have all been for nothing if _anyone_ found the truth. Everything he had lived through and all the things he had learned… He would have gone through all of it for _nothing_.

This thought chilled the first in his lungs for a moment, only to be replaced by burning fury. Within the confined of his mind, he had raged and cursed the world.

Lecherous grins and phantoms pains plagued his body. Splatters of crimson blood forced out of a monster's body were permanent fixtures in his nightmares. The memory of his own hands tearing through a despicable throat as a dead eyed woman stared listlessly at the sky nearby played in his mind, over and over again. He was haunted by the experiences that had shaped him into an agent the Akatsuki had seen _promise_ in. They never left him. But right now, he could think about nothing other than them.

There were _monsters_ out there, throughout the elemental notions, that were poisoning the ground where they stood- free to destroy and desecrate because there was no one to stop them.

He didn't register his movements until well after he had caused himself damage in his fit of impulsive rage. The scream that had been ripped from him had come from deep within and reignited the fire that had sizzled out in his lungs. His knuckles weren't broken by the punch he had crashed into a tree trunk, but Kakuzu had scolded him for being an idiot- was there _not_ a brain within his skull?

Hidan had merely nodded as he commented on his remarkable killing intent.

He offered them no explanations. They did not question him. Kakuzu merely grunted out a plausible excuse for the bandages around his neck before barking at Hidan to get a move on- they needed to get back to the Leader to inform them of their failure.

 _Failure_.

Kiba _hated_ that word.

After that, they had parted ways and Kiba had made his way back to the camp set up by his fellow shinobi.

If someone really did know he was part of the Akatsuki... All of the Akatsuki's plans would be dashed away and he'd be hunted down for being a traitor. And that was only if he didn't get locked up as soon as he returned to Konoha in a few days.

"Did you spend all that time in the forest?"

Kiba was forced out of his thoughts by Shikamaru's voice suddenly filling up his ears. The teenage Nara was leaning against a tree trunk on the edge of the clearing they had chosen to camp in. His eyes were drooping slightly, a sign that he had most probably just woken up, and his arms were being used by his head as cushion against the trunk.

"Uh…" Kiba faltered for a moment under the Nara's lazy stare, suddenly feeling extremely _guilty_ , but soon shook any reservations away and shrugged. "Yeah. I had nightmares." He replied almost lamely, "Didn't want to wake anybody up."

Him having nightmares would not be a surprise to Team 8 or Shikamaru. They all knew just about everything they needed to know about what had happened to him three years ago. But the rest that were traveling with them at the moment were none the wiser. Sakura, Ino, Chouji, and all of Team Guy had no idea as to what had happened during his absence from Konoha. And, quite frankly, Kiba wished to keep it that way. The less people that knew what had happened, the less that would doubt his skills as a ninja.

Even though what they knew was a very much censored and highly fabricated version of events, it was still much too close to reality for him to be comfortable with many people knowing about.

Shikamaru's eyes still seemed heavy with sleep, even as his lips formed a displeased frown. "You didn't have to spend the night alone."

Kiba smiled sadly at his words, but offered a noncommittal shrug. Then he thrust his hands into his pockets, turning his gaze over to the shrubbery to his left. "Ain't right to wake anyone up when I've got shit to deal with. 'Sides, I'm fine."

"You call your neck fine?"

Kiba had known that the obvious wounds he had mysteriously suffered would cause suspicion in his friends. But he was prepared with quite the believable explanation thanks to Kakuzu.

"I felt like I was getting choked." The Inuzuka lied with a heavy sigh. "I _know_ it was a nightmare; but it felt _so_ real… When I woke up, it was too late to stop the damage."

The Nara's eyes were wholly focused on Kiba after he'd said this. And, really, Kiba couldn't complain. He had been there for him from the beginning, helping him heal and reintegrate to the life he had left behind. Shikamaru, just like Shino, Hinata, and Akamaru, had been an integral part of Kiba getting better and healing rather than just being able to go through the motions of what had once been his life. And for this, Kiba called him a true friend; called them _all_ true friends.

He didn't like lying to Shikamaru. Just like he didn't like lying to any of his friends. But he knew that there was a reason for all of the lies and deceit, and that helped him sleep somewhat easier at night. He didn't sleep amazingly, his nights were still fitful and uneasy, filled with nightmares that threatened to chew him up and consume him completely. The knowledge of having true reasons for all of the pain, though, helped him sleep just a tiny bit better.

"I wouldn't have been bothered if you woke me up." Shikamaru grunted as he slowly stood up from his spot, rolling his shoulders to stretch, "Wouldn't be the first time. Wouldn't be the last."

The reminder of all the times that he had wound up in the Nara Compound, terrified for his life because the specters of his past loomed over him to destroy him, made Kiba wince. Even though he knew that relying on others wasn't a weakness, he certainly didn't thrive off of seeking others for help. He had done it once with the Akatsuki and while that hadn't ended badly, he just wasn't inclined to growing too close to anyone else.

Being a kind of double agent, working for someone that kept their work hidden under the shroud of darkness, made Kiba feel like a lowlife. But he also wished that everything he did truly was for the good of the world. He didn't think he'd be able to live with himself if he wasn't right in believing all of the Akatsuki's tenants.

"I could have stopped you from hurting your neck." The Nara walked up to him in a sedated pace, keeping his eyes directly on Kiba's.

His body language read of complete relaxation, even though no longer did his eyes have a single shred of tiredness within them.

After having dealt with Kiba's fragile mind for years now, the Nara was more than knowledgeable as to what to do when Kiba felt threatened. He would always seem as relaxed as possible, as little as a threat to Kiba. The Nara was more than aware of how fragile Kiba actually was, no matter how much he tried to hide it, and that scared the Inuzuka. He didn't like people knowing how close he could sometimes get to breaking. But, quite frankly, he was lucky that it was just Shikamaru that knew this. The other male never abused of this knowledge; never made him feel smaller than he already did.

"Can I see?"

The Nara was now in front of Kiba. He kept his body looking as calm as possible, more than aware of how Kiba would normally be after a nightmare.

In all honesty, Kiba was kind of happy that Shikamaru had been around in some of his worst moments to not question him now. Anyone else, following proper shinobi code of conduct, would be grilling him as to why he had left camp in the middle of the night and why he had not returned until now. But Shikamaru, more than aware of everything that had happened, most probably believed that Kiba was currently recovering from a dangerous nightmare that had left him frazzled and terrified.

Kiba weighed his choices carefully.

Shikamaru would be even more worried if he didn't allow him to see the scratches. And he already knew that they were self-inflicted, so there shouldn't be that much trouble to let him see… But it just didn't feel right to have him so close by.

The reason why he didn't want Shikamaru close to his neck was because of his basic instincts screaming at him that he'd be leaving himself open to damage. But that screaming came from the darkest recesses of his mind, where the memory of his time in hell was still fresh and raw.

There was also the fact that Kakuzu had growled at him that the bandages were _not_ to be pulled off... But... Well, he could always rewrap his neck after Shikamaru was done.

"Just…" Kiba swallowed, then shifted his gaze towards the lightening sky. "Be careful, okay?"

Shikamaru didn't say anything after that. But soon Kiba felt light touches on his neck, slowly unwinding the bandages snuggly wrapped around him. With each layer that was unwrapped, Kiba felt his heart clench even tighter. But soon enough his wounds were left bare for the world to see. And when he looked over at Shikamaru, he found his friend frowning heavily.

"You should have asked for help." He chastised softly, eyes going over every single scratch on the Inuzuka's neck. "If not from me, then from someone from your team. Kiba, this was completely avoidable."

The Nara had always been able to give blunt commentary without being overly rude. Just like with a lot of other things about the Nara, Kiba was grateful for this.

"I know." He sighed, crossing his arms over his chest while the other teen continued to look over him. "I just didn't want to bother anyone."

Shikamaru grunted at the explanation, but soon began to wrap the bandages around Kiba's neck once more. And once he'd finished with that, the Nara crossed his arms over his chest and gave Kiba a thoughtful look.

"The rest is going to ask why you're wearing them."

Kiba grunted softly at hearing this, "I know... But I don't want to tell them the truth."

The truth Shikamaru now knew was a lie. So what Kiba would be doing was creating yet another lie: a lie to a lie. This was what his life had come to. Creating so many different lies that if he didn't sometimes stop himself to write everything that had come out of his mouth down, he would have been found out long ago.

The scroll he currently held within the hidden pockets inside of his jacket was one of the many he had written on over the past few years. After the twentieth one he had begun on a year ago, Kiba had stopped counting them. He couldn't be bothered with keeping up the true number of scrolls he had filled up. Especially not when he burned them up every time the small lies he had told were considered unimportant. Keeping such proof of deceit near him was just another way of getting caught if he wasn't careful.

The bigger, more important lies, were documented within scrolls that were hidden inside of his puppet, far from wherever any prying eyes might be able to find.

Shikamaru closed his eyes as he allowed a grunt of annoyance to leave him, then he opened them up once more to look Kiba directly in the eyes. "If not the truth, then what'll you tell them? What's so bad about them knowing what really happened?"

 _If not the truth..._ Kiba had stopped trying to stop himself from feeling guilty whenever this phrase came up in a conversation. He'd had to be so dishonest with everyone he deemed important to himself that he couldn't be bothered with feeling bad anymore. The guilt was still there, it would always be. But it was overshadowed by the knowledge of doing all of this to make the world a better place... Most of the time.

His dreams were to help the Akatsuki fix the world- make it a place where genin would not have to give up their bodies to keep their teammates safe. Most days, that was enough of a goal to keep him going.

"I'm already under strict surveillance, Shika." Kiba frowned at his friend, "The Hokage doesn't want ninja that are a danger to themselves on the front lines. And if I told the rest about the nightmare I had that caused me to _hurt myself_ , I'd be taken off active duty and placed in an asylum or something."

"You were cleared by Morino and Inoichi. And the Hokage _knows_ you're going to suffer from nightmares, _all_ ninja do." Shikamaru fired back, irritation etching into his features.

"But not all ninja hurt themselves."

Neither teen was going to back down. And for a moment, Kiba was struck by the total absurdity of this discussion. He was standing up about not being honest about a story he had fabricated to keep Shikamaru from questioning him too much. Well, he would have been able to think about how this might have been funny if not for the severity of his whole life.

Eventually Shikamaru spoke up once again.

"Fine. Don't tell Team Guy or Team Ten. But your team is going to worry. And they can help you."

Shino, Hinata, and Akamaru... That was his team. They were supposed to be the people he could lean on no matter what- they could be his rock when he could not weather the storm that was life.

He didn't dare.

* * *

_"Kiba, I wish to speak with you."_

_The Inuzuka quirked an eyebrow at his teammate's tense words, placed the kunai he had been sharpening back in his weapons pouch, and stood up from the stump he had claimed as his own._

_He looked around the training ground, took note of Kurenai-sensei and Hinata working on some new taijutsu techniques, and looked back at the Aburame that had spoken to him. It had been months since that disastrous mission that had torn them apart... And Shino had never looked so different._

_"Alright. Come on."_

_He knew that this was going to be a serious conversation. Shino's voice was tense, yet confident, and his whole body read of confrontation. Kiba didn't run away from it this time around. He didn't have any believable excuses, unlike all the other times the Aburame had tried to approach him._

_They made their way towards the edges of the clearing and then walked a bit farther into the foliage, just to make sure that neither of the other two shinobi could hear them without flat-out trying to eavesdrop. Once Kiba was sure the distance was far enough, he turned back to Shino and nodded at him._

_"We have not discussed what happened. Because of this, we have not yet reached any semblance of closure, so we cannot possibly begin to even think about moving on and trying to return to our regular lives."_

_Shino had a point. Kiba was more than aware of this. But he couldn't bring himself to talk about anything that dealt with their time in captivity. And it wasn't as if he could confess to having become a double agent during his time with the Akatsuki- that would just lead to his death. No, if it was up to him, he would not talk about any of this and leave it at that; closure be damned. But Shino clearly needed_ something _._

_"You know that none of this was your fault, right?"_

_Even behind all of his garments, even obscured by those dark sunglasses and high collar, Kiba was able to see the shock of surprise that hit the Aburame._

_It was a very dirty trick, he knew. But it was a perfect way to distract Shino from whatever it was that he wanted to discuss._

_"You were held captive just like the rest of us. You were bound with chakra draining seals and they kept you with a sword at Hinata's neck if you tried to do anything. If you had tried to escape and help, she would have been killed. Then you would have been murdered." Kiba frowned at his Aburame teammate, "I was the one to make the deal. I didn't give either of you a choice in what happened. All the blame falls on me- stop beating yourself up over it."_

_From surprise, Shino's face hardened into anger. "It does not. You did what you could to keep us safe- it was those bastards that kidnapped us. It isn't your fault that they abused of you. And it certainly isn't your fault that you were kidnapped by those Akatsuki brutes. You did not know that they were missing-nin when we first met them. And you thought they would have actually helped us when they offered to aid you."_

_Oh, how little Shino actually knew..._

_Kiba schooled his features into a small frown instead of the heavy, extremely bothered one he actually felt like using. The fact of the matter was that everything he had gone through had been his own making- as soon as he had opened his big mouth to the bastard mercenaries, he had dug his own grave. Everything that had happened after that had been his own accidental machination. There was no way he could avoid this truth._

_With a small sigh, Kiba crossed his arms over his chest. "We aren't the same kids, Shino. I don't think I can even think of myself as a kid anymore... I'm not even fourteen yet and I feel so... very... old."_

_It couldn't hurt to admit this to his teammate, right? It wasn't a detail that would impede on the Akatsuki's plans. And it was a confession that would throw Shino off even further... It would help Kiba from having to straight up lie to the Aburame about what had happened to him after he had left with Itachi and Kisame._

_"I don't want to talk about what happened. I don't want you to know more about what happened- what you already know is enough." With this, Kiba crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes, "The fact of the matter is that I was used by the Akatsuki as a tracker for a couple of months until they decided to release me because I was not good enough for what they needed. What happened in the time that we were apart doesn't need to bother you."_

_Shino schooled his features until Kiba could barely read him once more. Frustration, though, rolled off of him in waves- inundated his scent._

_"But it bothers you."_

_It was as if all of the oxygen in his lungs had been punched out._

_Kiba was stricken by the honesty in Shino's voice- how worried he sounded. He stared at his teammate for a couple of seconds, then coughed softly and forced himself to smooth his surprise and seem as unbothered as possible._

_"Of course it does." He grunted, cleared his throat, and glanced away, "And that's why I don't want it to bother you..." The Inuzuka squinted his eyes at the foliage surrounding them, the vastness of the trees and the brightness of the green, and breathed out. "Listen, Shino... If it'll help in any way, my time with the Akatsuki was heaven compared to what I went through with those bastards. They were decent enough, alright?"_

_Everything was silent around them for a moment._

_Then Shino questioned, "Then why won't you tell me about it?"_

_Kiba outright glared at him, "Because there are some things you've got to go through alone, Shino. Teammates or not- I'm not telling anyone."_

* * *

With a soft sigh, Kiba made his way over to his bedroll. Akamaru was laying on top of it, looking at him through half-lidded eyes.

Kiba smiled softly at the animal, crouched on the balls of his feet, and patted his head. Akamaru closed his eyes completely and just allowed his partner to pet him.

The fact of the matter was that only Akamaru knew about what had happened with the Akatsuki- the actual truth. Kiba had not wanted to tell him about it at first, just to keep him safe from any possible repercussions if he was ever found out. But he couldn't harbor such a heavy secret alone and he found himself telling Akamaru almost everything after only a month back in his home.

Akamaru had not been pleased at first. He had _hated_ Kiba for having abandoned him and left him in the care of Hinata, Shino, and Naruto. The dog had _loathed_ the fact that he was far away from his human and could do absolute nothing to help him in case anything happened. And it had taken a lot of groveling and explaining himself to get Akamaru to even _begin_ to think about forgiving him.

Now the dog was slightly on-board with the idea to save the world. He still didn't like the Akatsuki or what they had done- how they had supposedly forced Kiba into learning how to fight instead of allowing him to progress naturally. But he could at least see that the group of dangerous criminals had a justifiable-enough reason to want Kiba's help.

That didn't mean, though, that he agreed with Kiba being part of their plans _or_ using his age and connections into tricking Gaara, Naruto, and Fū into friendship to 'help them'. And he certainly called bullshit on the chakra monster explanation. And he did not agree with the need for secrecy and manipulation on the Akatsuki's part.

… At least the dog had agreed to keep quiet about the Akatsuki as long as Kiba kept him well informed...

"Sleep well, boy?"

Akamaru yawned and huffed, before questioning him about what lie he would feed his teammates this time.

Kiba frowned at the large dog, shook his head, and stood back up. He didn't bother to answer his partner and instead looked over the campsite to make sure that everything was alright.

Team Guy were all hidden within their tents and only Lee seemed to be stirring. It was pretty early and they had just been promoted to chuunin, so they all had a right to want to sleep in some more. But Lee, with his exuberant and tiresome energy, seemed to be on the precipice of waking up. On the other side of the barely burning fire they had made the last night were Ino, Sakura, Chouji, and Shikamaru's tents. They were all sleeping- with Ino and Chouji snoring rather loudly. And, finally, on either side of him were his own teammates.

He was the only one to use a bedroll alone rather than beneath a tent.

Nobody questioned it after Shikamaru had allowed him to use the bedroll alone at the beginning of their trip to Suna.

It was only a matter of time before everyone else woke up, breakfast was eaten, and they would get back on their way to Konoha.

Once again, Kiba sighed. Then he sat down on his bedroll, his back touching Akamaru's own, and began to roll bandages around his wounds yet again.

~/~

He had made sure to wear his hood over his head and bring up his jacket's collar as high as it would go while being zipped closed. This had ensured that only a bit of white peeked above the dark fabric, crossing right over his Adam's apple.

The rest of his outfit was normal- black pants, black sandals, and a bandage wrap to his right thigh. Not even wearing the hood was out of character for him, seeing how he had enjoyed having the fur lined piece on his jacket. What _was_ different was wearing the jacket zipped up so high. But, if he was lucky, the teenagers around him would not question it and merely attribute it to Kiba-brand oddities.

Supposedly, he had a lot of those that not many questioned. And the reason why not many did so was out of fear of accidentally affecting him in a harmful manner with their questions. Which, he hated... But appreciated. If no one questioned him out of fear of harming him, then he didn't have to give too many explanations. If he didn't have to give many explanations, then he didn't need to lie as much.

"Alright. We're still two days away from reaching Konoha. We should eat and then get moving." Shikamaru instructed after Chouji had finished cooking up their breakfast.

Kiba smirked at how truly disinterested Shikamaru sounded in returning to their home, but soon frowned when he began to think on the word: _Home_.

Konoha was his home. The Inuzuka Clan was his family. Team 8 was his pack. They were all supposed to be important to him... But the Akatsuki was above them all, in a way. Yet he did not have a proper word to describe them. They weren't a pack. They certainly weren't a family. And their base of operations could never be a home.

With a soft sigh, Kiba thanked Hinata for bringing him his food. Then she sat down beside him and began to quietly eat and Kiba could smell the worry rolling off of her.

He scowled for a moment, then watched Shino as he sat down on Kiba's other side and began to eat his own breakfast without offering a single word.

The Inuzuka's eyebrows narrowed and scrunched up. And he just about scowled when Akamaru made a show of lying down behind the three of them, as if encompassing them.

… He _hated_ when they did this... But he also loved it.

Internally, Kiba mulled over his choices.

Shino and Hinata were giving him the chance to tell them whatever was bothering him without them having to ask about it. They were giving him the power to say whatever he wanted to say. And they were trying to be as subtle as they could be when surrounded by a small group of teenagers that could barely even begin to understand their actions.

Maybe he _could_ give them the version of the story in which he'd gone through a horrible nightmare. They weren't strangers to his episodes of fear and were more than willing to try and help. The only reason he kept them at arms' length was the very reason why he kept lying to Shikamaru: Because the truth was too dangerous for them to know.

He took a small bite of the tasty porridge Chouji had concocted and breathed out heavily. Then he closed his eyes and murmured, "Alright. I had a shitty nightmare. Kinda hurt my neck... Happy?"

They didn't say a single thing. Instead Hinata scooted closer to his left side, softly pressing her arm against his own. And Shino continued to eat in silence, even though he allowed one bug to fly out of his hive and onto Kiba's head.

..~..~..

So sorry for the delay on the update, Christmas was insane! Huge thank you to RedFaux for helping me out with this chapter and being a great consultant!

Please review and tell me what you thought of this chapter!


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